Ahh… So you’ve just been dumped by your once-significant other, you’re heartbroken, and you’d do just about anything to get him (or her) back. Or so you think. Right now, if you have just gone through the breakup, you might be doing things like constantly calling your ex – maybe acting like it’s all your fault, begging to get back together.
Or, maybe you’re doing what T.W. Jackson, author of The Magic of Making Up, calls “Text Message Terrorism” where you keep on sending text messages to stay in his or her life.
If this is you – or even if you’re just THINKING of doing this – First order of business: STOP IT immediately. You’re just going to give your ex perfect validation that breaking up with you was a GOOD thing, because now you’re beginning to act desperate. Instead of convincing your ex that breaking up was a mistake, he or she is more likely to be thanking their lucky stars to be getting away from you.
Do you see how desperate this type of behavior is? Oh my… I do hope so! No one wants to be with a desperate sounding person, and frankly, neither would you if the shoe were on the other foot.
So, how can this e-book make a difference? How do their claims that they’ve helped over 50,000 people to get back together hold up? I can only speak for myself – and I can only speak to an incident that threatened my marriage, but did not absolutely break the marriage.
First of all, a disclaimer is in order: I am not any kind of professional social worker or psychologist, and I don’t want my thoughts to be misconstrued as any kind of “official” relationship advice. Okay? Now, I want to mention that seeing the book advertised for the first time (it’s actually a download, so you can read it as soon as you buy it) instantly brought light to the fact that T.W. Jackson is not any kind of professional either. He admits that right up front.
I’m fine with the fact that his advice is his own take on things, because I will let out a little tidbit that I learned from him that paved the way towards my husband and myself reconciling before things got out of hand.
I learned to stop playing blame games – he and I are totally different people, but it’s okay to be different as long as we respect one another. I did not think that I was ever being disrespectful to my husband. But, sometimes as a relationship develops (or crumbles), we don’t always recognize certain things that we are doing as harmful.
I learned to back off a little bit, and I began to recognize a few things that were making me seem extremely “needy” when there was no reason to.
Most of all, I learned the value of patience.
This program is not a “quick fix” book that, by reading it through you’re going to have a fairy tale romance overnight (although, you can start to make improvements right away). In my case, we weren’t broken up – yet.
For those of you who may have already gone through the break up, and can keep yourself in a calm state of mind (I know it can be difficult), I believe that the techniques and strategies outlined by T.W. Jackson will result in one of a few outcomes – and again, not overnight:
1) Your ex might begin to see you in a different light and begin to come around again, willing to give the relationship another shot, this time with great success and you’ll have an even better relationship than before,
2) After a while, even though you’ve made the valiant effort to get back together using the techniques with care and sincerity, it’s just over, and there will be no getting back together (in which case, it will be time to let it go and use your new-found knowledge to create a new, and better relationship), or
3) You’re not going to really want to get back together after all, because you will have learned a lot about yourself to know that the breakup was in everyone’s best interest.
No matter what your personal outcome is, The Magic of Making Up isn’t “magic” as much as an “unfolding” to help you become a much stronger, resilient person when it comes to relationships.
In my case, our own marriage is stronger than ever. And, once we began to re-value one another, I started doing something that I do to this day – and you won’t believe it by my “manly man husband” has reciprocated: We now leave one another little “love notes” in non-obvious places – we never did this before, but, after I had written him a short note (not a “love note,” but a calm note about the relationship – something you’ll learn from T.W. Jackson) when we were first getting ready to separate, it began a more healthy line of communication between us. It then evolved to the little “love notes.” So, I’m grateful for this product for spurring me on to taking an action that I might not have taken before. Yeah, it’s “just an ebook,” but I think it’s a goodie.